Everybody needs some kind of support system, whether it’s family, friends, coworkers or other people in our circles we can talk to and depend on. The same is especially true for over-the-road dads. It’s the people within our circles who provide encouragement and help us keep moving forward.
How can over-the-road dads encourage their families? What forms of encouragement do you like receiving? Why is it so important that we not only receive encouragement, but give it?
“It’s a humanity thing,” said Prime driver and father of four Marcel McDowell regarding the value of encouragement. “With the world that we live in, we need positive reinforcement.”
Whether you’re in need of a boost in morale or you’re giving a helpful word to a friend, encouragement is something we all could use a little more of. Keep reading for some of Marcel’s insights!
Focus on the positive
We all have our favorite forms of encouragement, whether it’s a high five or a “good job.” But how can we stay encouraged, even when the going gets tough? For Marcel, he focuses on the positive.
“I try not to let the negatives overshadow the positives,” he said.
For him, positive reinforcement can go a long way. Some of the positives that he focuses on include getting the opportunity to see the country while driving over-the-road and having a loving family to talk to and come home to.
Focusing on the positive is important for your children, too. Staying positive allows your family back home to stay encouraged.
“Right now, I’m not letting my kids hear negativity,” Marcel said. “They don’t need to be worried about what’s going on in a grown-up’s life.”
As a dad, Marcel is a source of encouragement to his kids—who are involved in a variety of extracurricular activities, including football, gymnastics, choir and band. His wife, Latona, sends him lots of videos, and he makes sure to tell his children how proud he is of them.
“I send encouraging words,” he said. “I won’t let what’s going on with me overshadow whatever they’ve got going on at home.”
In a recent episode of the Hidden Brain podcast on ‘How to Make a Difference,’ host Shankar Vedantam discusses learned helplessness with psychologist Martin Seligman, a phenomenon resulting from trauma out of one’s control. The episode continues, explaining how learned helplessness can be combatted through personal agency, which can be divided into three parts:
- Efficacy: You can do it right now.
- Optimism: You can do it in the future.
- Imagination: You can innovate across many situations
Our actions and outlook, whether positive or negative, can be a factor in whether or not we succeed. When dads have a positive outlook in life, they instill positivity and confidence in their children. They feel encouraged to overcome challenges and take advantage of potential opportunities. Positive encouragement makes a real difference!
Find people who encourage you
It’s great to turn to family for positivity, but some of the best encouragement comes from supportive friendships, too.
Marcel has a coworker and friend named Alpheus (Al for short), who he met last year and talks to frequently. Since Marcel has 20+ years of “lived experience,” he offers guidance to Al, encouraging him to keep on trucking, both figuratively and literally.
“We talk about a lot of stuff,” Marcel said, mentioning both trucking and general life advice. “The hours fly by when you’re on the phone.”
Marcel described Al as a good, ambitious person. He encourages him to take things one day at a time and one load at a time.
He also receives plenty of encouragement from his family back home.
“Having my babies talking to me on the phone is positive encouragement,” he said. “I miss them, but they are positive reinforcement, especially from a long day.”
When Marcel talks with his family and hears “I love you,” “I miss you,” and “I can’t wait for you to be home,” it encourages him to keep his head up.
Don’t push yourself too hard
In our last Prime Good Dads blog, we talked with Prime driver Alfred Hincks on the value of endurance. Positive encouragement from others can help us achieve this! However, Marcel says it’s important to know your limits and prioritize your well-being above all else.
For example: Are you feeling too tired to keep going?
“Lay down and take a break,” he said. “The load ain’t going anywhere, and it’s still gonna get there.”
Putting yourself first is also a matter of safety. Marcel admitted that it can get tough in the life of a truck driver. You can be selective about what loads you take or change appointment times if need be.
“Safety is the number one game we play,” he continued. “If you’re not good, then nobody is good. Make sure you’re good first, then worry about what’s behind you on the truck.”
Don’t be afraid to let off some steam
The world of trucking can be unpredictable. Marcel admitted that with higher prices, diesel in particular, being a truck driver is “kind of hard right now.” As an owner operator at Prime, he’s had to manage his budget carefully to adjust to the climbing price of fuel.
“Truckers can make good money, but it’s not always like that,” he admitted.
When it comes to the stresses of life, he and his wife talk to each other and work together as a team to ensure one person isn’t carrying too much of the load. When he’s home, he might take his kids out to the park while she stays home and relaxes. He even described a time when they went to a “rage room,” a controlled space where participants can destroy old TV sets, glass bottles and other breakables to let off some steam.
“We try to help each other,” Marcel said.
One way Marcel blows off steam while working over-the-road is venting out loud in his truck. Since there’s nobody else in the cab, he can be as loud as he wants. It’s better to let it out than to bottle it up and carry those frustrations!
“It’s challenging, but I’m trying to encourage myself to keep going,” he said. “I have little ones to feed who need me.”
Final Words
Whatever you may be going through, encouragement can go a long way. Even when the going gets tough, Marcel continues to encourage his family and coworkers, and they provide it back to him in turn.
“I give all my praise to the Lord that I woke up another day,” he said. “Having my babies at home is always a plus.”
