On the last Prime Good Dads blog, we discussed the importance of a support system and explored how to choose the right friends. How does one go about being a good friend? Do you have to have a community to be a good person?

Having a strong support system is crucial, but to build a support system, you have to be a good friend yourself. After all, what goes around comes around. 

Jacob Parker has been working for Prime for six years. He’s familiar with the importance of having a support system. He stresses that it’s critical to form bonds with others, especially in the truck driving world. 

In addition, Brian Mattson, lead pastor of the Downtown Church in Springfield, MO, has some insights of his own as a father of two. 

Recognize that there will always be people that are willing to help

Being a truck driver, especially as a father, involves an entire shift in lifestyle. What do you do if you’re just starting out, and you don’t have a support system? Brian says that if you’re a person of faith, faith communities are a great place to start. 

“Churches like to see you there and are happy to greet kids and families into the fold,” he said. 

Even if you’re not a person of faith, it’s important to understand that there are a lot of people in this world who are willing to lend a helping hand. 

“We consume a lot of news and media in this country,” Brian said. “The world isn’t as bleak and dreadful as the world has you believe. Your neighbors, acquaintances and loosely acquainted friends are more willing to help than you give them credit for. The people around us are not enemies. For the most part, our friends and neighbors are willing to help us, they just don’t know the need.” 

Have a positive outlook and make a conscious effort to build your support system

In order to be a good friend and build up a support system for yourself, your perspective is a huge factor in whether or not you build it. 

“It’s like anything else in life,” Jacob said. “Make a conscious effort to do whatever it takes to create (your support system). Your perspective is everything; your outlook is half the battle.”

Luckily for Prime fathers, there’s “nothing but resources,” according to Jacob, so take advantage of them! The right people will point you in the right direction. Sometimes it takes a little bit of thinking outside of the box and getting creative. 

Keep lines of communication open

Communication is key to keeping support systems in your life thriving. Brian suggests shooting a quick text or making a phone call to keep the lines of communication going. 

“Some of the important things about being friends, as we get older and opinions and interests change, remember what connected us in the first place.” Brian said. “80 to 90% of America meets in the middle. Default to that (rather) than to go to the extremes as much as we can.”

People grow and change, sometimes together and sometimes apart. As long as you’re making a conscious effort to stay connected with people, you’re on the right track. However, it’s important to remember that communication is a two-way street. 

“Make sure that communication is always open,” Brian added, “even if you might not be available or in a location at one time where you’re only a phone call away. (Communication) is important in all stages of life. When you are back in town, prioritize your direct family relationships so those connections don’t dry up.”

Live by example

Remember the golden rule: treat others the way you would want to be treated. Jacob says having integrity is important. 

“Whether you’re with your children or not, they observe everything you do, how you carry yourself, how you treat other people.” he said. “Do what’s right, and live by example. My father passed away when I was nine years old and he lived by example, and I’m the man that I am today because of his example. (Kids) will want to follow in your footsteps.”

Connect digitally

Brian shared a story of him meeting an over-the-road driver in a Walmart parking lot. He had a Mario shirt on, explaining that his kids were into playing games like Super Smash Bros. He said that when he was over the road, he and his kids could partake in the same interests.

“Do something that connects with your kids or find a friend group that’s not face to face and form bonds that take place digitally,” Brian suggested. “Technology is available to us now, so keeping friend groups together digitally is easier than ever. Keep those friend groups together, for you as a dad and for your family when you aren’t there.”

Online communities, such as gaming and fantasy football, are great ways for you to form and keep bonds. 

Be caring and honest

“It’s pointed out to me that I tell people what others won’t tell them,” Jacob said, “but it’s because I care. Ever since I was a kid, people have told me that I have good insight because I tell it like it is. I got called Dr. Phil in a conversation the other day because I said what needed to be said.”

Sometimes a good friend will be honest, even if it’s not something the other person wants to hear–but needs to hear. Being a good listener and showing that you care helps show others that you’re a good friend. While honesty is not always easy, it’s definitely an important step to creating and maintaining a robust support system. 

Make bonds a priority in your life

Brian has a lot of family that lives in town. “The grandmas and grandpas are here; they help fill the gaps of modern American family life.” Brian said. 

Along with his family, Brian also has close friends with whom grew up. What makes this group unique is these friends all had kids at different ages. “We get together and talk about what our kids are doing,” he said. “(We) learn about different aspects of being a dad from normal guy-to-guy convos. The light at the end of the tunnel is good to have.” 

Many members of Jacob’s family have passed away, so he says his friends are more like family, describing the people he’s met while working at Prime as his “brotherhood.” 

“Drivers are our own support system to each other,” he emphasized. 

Don’t let the lines of communication dry up! Be there for the ones you care about. 

Final words

In Brian’s opinion, the main quality to being a good friend is simply showing up and being there for others because you’re invested in them as a person.

“Know your priorities, moral compass and family or commitments that might not jive with someone else,” he suggested.

Jacob stressed the importance of telling your kids you love them and are proud of them as much as possible.

“There’s no such thing as telling them too much,” he said. “I tell (them) to build their confidence–to come into their own person.”