It’s finally October, and with it comes colder weather and shorter days. Now is the time to make sure you’re staying connected and checking in with loved ones, because with the weather and the darker days can cause an increased sense of gloominess. 

Last month may have been National Friendship month, but that doesn’t mean these connections can’t be celebrated year round, and for Prime drivers, it’s more important than ever. 

Thomas Miller, father of two and Prime driver of over 25 years, knows just how necessary it is for people in his field to have friends and stay connected. 

Good Dads also spoke to Kevin Stratton, a licensed professional counselor and another father of two, who shared the benefits of having a strong support system. 

What makes a good friend? 

Thomas said a good friend is trustworthy and is someone who listens rather than trying to immediately fix everything. 

“Sometimes you need to get things off your chest,” he said. With that, a good friend is someone who won’t judge you unless you ask. However, Thomas said, you have to accept the fact that a good friend might think you’re wrong. 

When seeking advice from a friend, ask them what they think about your current situation. Thomas said that the “answer might not always be what you want, and you can’t let it affect your friendship.”

Kevin concurred,  saying he thinks a good listener makes a good friend, someone who is “attentive and supportive.” In addition, Kevin says that friendship is all about “walking with each other through good and bad.” 

“The eventual goal is to not be afraid to give the hard answers after giving the support.” Kevin said. 

It may be hard to hear, but a good friend is direct, non-judgemental, and transparent with their own life and their own struggles, according to Kevin. 

Include your family in your support system

Thomas described his wife as “first and foremost” in his support system.

“She’s been there for everything, highs and lows,” he said. “She’s always been the number one support to talk about anything and everything: life, jobs, kids, everything.” 

He also said that his two daughters are a part of his support system, and they listen to him rant about different things.

“I’ve been blessed by an immediate family, and a very large extended family as far as cousins go,” Thomas said, saying he has around 15 to 20 cousins.

Thomas said that some of these are lifelong relationships. 

“I grew up with all my cousins,” he said. “There’s one particular set of cousins, eight children, a couple miles away, we grew up together that’s how we got close… (They’re) big on the support side of things. (They’re) here whenever my wife and kids need something, (they) step up to help. 

“Not everyone enjoys a large family, but pretty much everyone has someone in their family that has someone for them,” he continued. “Take advantage of it. If you don’t have a lot of brothers and sisters, your cousin is the next best thing. They’re really like brothers to me.”

Include your coworkers in your support system

Thomas recommended drivers to find other driver friends to talk with. While having family in your support system is important, they might not fully understand what you go through on a day-to-day basis like a fellow driver. 

“Find relationships and friendships with other drivers that understand where you’re coming from.” Thomas said. “Lend advice where you didn’t even think of.”

Thomas said that one of the key members in his support system is his fleet manager, Steven Ray. Thomas has had three fleet managers throughout his career, and he still has good relationships with them. 

“It’s been some of the best friendships,” Thomas said. “I can call him at one in the morning to vent; he’s been a godsend over the last year.”

Maintaining relationships with your coworkers can benefit both yourself and others. It helps foster a sense of community within your work and improves overall communication. 

Having the right support system improves mental health 

Mental health matters, especially for truck drivers. According to Kevin, “ having a healthy friendship and support system can greatly improve the success of your mental health.” 

“We are not meant to do it on our own,” Kevin said. By building your support system, you are able to strengthen both others and yourself. 

Kevin facilitates Within My Reach, a course provided by Good Dads focused on healthy relationship skills. The course is supported by long-term research, which suggests people who are part of a group and provide help have a more successful life because of their friendships.

Having a supportive community is a mandatory part of being a truck driver. It just involves more creativity to stay connected with your support system.

Get involved in people-centered events 

Thomas grew up in a small town, so he says he ended up making friends early on. As far as truck driving friends, Thomas says he met several of them through Prime events. There are also state driving championships once a year where he gets to meet up with long-distance friends who live in different parts of the country.

Thomas says that relationships you build within your company are important, regardless of what position they work in.

“Don’t be afraid to get involved,” Thomas said. “If there are activities, I recommend going to those things. You will find people you’ll find more than just driving in common with. Those friendships will last for years.”

If you have to dissolve a friendship, cut the ties right away

Cutting ties with someone you once considered a friend is a difficult yet common part of life. 

“Sometimes unfortunate situations may arise that you have to ask ‘is this the best for me?’” Thomas said. “It’s never easy, (but) don’t take the easy route, just cut those ties. The longer you let it last, the harder it’s going to be and the more people it’s going to affect.”

Sometimes, you are faced with a decision to cut ties with the person or to try fixing what was broken. It’s unfortunate, but it may be something you have to do if the trust in the friendship is broken.

Stay connected through frequent communication 

Long time readers of the Prime Good Dads blog know that frequent communication is crucial, especially when building a support system. 

Kevin says it’s important to know yourself first, because a lot can go into a friendship. This allows you to essentially “know what you’re working with,” as Kevin puts it. 

“Stay connected, even if it’s a phone call,” Kevin said. “Even a phone call is better than nothing.  If you can, do a video call to see faces and expressions. 

“Being on the road, you have to be creative when you stay connected,” he said.

Whoever you’re staying in contact with, set aside time every day to connect with them. It may take a bit more effort on your part as a Prime driver, but tending to friendships are critical to your wellbeing. 

If you’re a new driver, talk to veteran drivers

Thomas says he’s observed the challenges newer drivers face as they are “embarking on a complete lifestyle change.”

“Not a ton of people out there that understand our lifestyle,” he admitted. 

Thomas recommends talking to veteran drivers that have been in the business for a while and find out how they make the lifestyle work for them. 

“Lots of people that come into this industry and think they’re prepared,” Thomas said. “They don’t have people to talk to that understand where they’re coming from. Make that connection. Don’t be afraid to listen to others and follow that lead. Some drivers have been doing it for a while. Find those that have succeeded at it and follow their lead.”

Final Words

Kevin said that using the resources within Prime to your advantage can help you immensely. 

“Talk to Prime, talk to a supervisor to get support,” he said. “Use your resources and coworkers if they’re a healthy support system. That trust has to be built.”

Thomas said that having a support system is important, especially for truck driving fathers. 

“Nobody goes into fatherhood knowing what they’re doing,” he said. ”Be willing to listen and observe how others are with their kids. Don’t be afraid to have community involvement raising your kids,” he said. “We’re all in this together raising this next generation.”