Mirrors are a powerful symbol. They can represent vanity or confidence, wisdom or self reflection. Just be sure not to break one, or you’ll have seven years of bad luck (or so they say). Mirrors allow us to see physical changes, but can also serve as a symbol of inner reflection.

Why is self reflection important? How does self reflection help us be receptive to positive change? How can you be more receptive to new ideas and constructive criticism?

This week, Good Dads spoke with Prime driver father Charles Smith on his perspectives on receptiveness and self reflection as a seasoned over-the-road driver and dad to adult children. We hope you’ll be receptive to learning a thing or two from him!

Self reflection involves understanding

Looking at both your actions and motivations are key components to healthy self reflection. Charles says that as a Prime driver father, this is a constant effort.

“You have to be constantly evaluating what you’re doing,” Charles said. “Are you doing the right things for the right reasons?”

If you’re trying to reach a goal, but not making progress, Charles suggests taking a step back and looking at both the motivations and effectiveness of your actions.

“Sometimes effort is the thing, but understanding the things you’re doing is important,” he said. “Whether you’re a Prime driver or father or anything in life, are you doing the right things for the right reasons?”

Self reflection leads to self acceptance

When it comes to being a father and a Prime driver, being receptive to feedback and new ideas is crucial. Charles suggests being receptive to the joys life has to offer.

“I find myself saying I don’t deserve this or that,” he admitted. “(Be) willing to accept the good things in your life.”

Charles says that looking at yourself “honestly and objectively” is a sign of maturity. As an over-the-road driver, he says there’s plenty of time for self reflection in the cab of his truck. Similar advice was given by over-the-road dad Eric Cielesz in a Prime Good Dads blog on the value of reliability.

Effective constructive criticism comes down to context and delivery

Charles’ children are all adults, and he’s been driving professionally for several years. However, that doesn’t mean he isn’t open to constructive criticism.

“Just because I’ve done something the same way for thirty years doesn’t mean it’s the right way,” he said.

For Charles, constructive criticism has to come from a good place, and it has to be delivered in an efficient way. He admitted he doesn’t like being told he’s wrong by someone he barely knows. Rather, if there’s an established friendship, Charles is able to give and receive constructive criticism, with a bit of humor for good measure. He used a recent example of struggling to back a trailer up correctly in front of a few fellow Prime driver friends.

“I couldn’t back it to save my life!” he joked, saying that while his friends gave him a hard time, there was genuine advice behind the teasing: focus on using the side mirrors as opposed to the backup camera

“They’ve earned the right to say that,” Charles said, referring to his friends and fellow drivers. “We had a great laugh and moved on.”

If you’re not happy with what you’re doing, just stop

Charles admitted that the older he’s become, the less likely he is to waste his time on something that isn’t bringing him joy.

“If you’re miserable doing it, stop it,” he said. “Finding a better and happier way of doing things is a continual process of improvement.”

He says these revelations push you back into self reflection mode, allowing you to find more realistic and efficient ways to solve problems without violating your core values.

Lead by example

In regards to parenting, Charles says the best way to teach children the value of self reflection is allowing them to live their lives and make mistakes. Lead by example, without falling into the “do as I say, not as I do,” way of parenting.

As a trainer for Prime, Charles knows the importance of effective constructive criticism. Ultimately, lending a helping hand without being patronizing or condescending is important, as well as giving new drivers the time and space to solve problems.

“Everything I’m asking (my students) to do, I can do,” he said. “I demonstrate my competence, show you how, and if you listen to me, you’ll be able to do it as well.”

He says kindness and common decency goes a long way in understanding others and meeting them where they are. While he might have more experience than someone else, it’s still good to see where others are coming from with their feedback.

“Find a common ground,” he said. “Treat people how you want to be treated by having compassion, kindness and a willingness to help.”

Final Words

Being receptive to constructive criticism and new ideas goes hand in hand with self reflection. Utilize your position as an over-the-road father, self reflect, and be open to positive changes.

“Be honest about who you are, where you’re at or what you’re doing,” Charles said. “If you can’t be honest with yourself, life is really difficult. Doing the right things for the right reasons is very important.”