Do you remember when you first found out you were going to be a dad? Being a father is a role that lasts a lifetime. It involves a deep commitment to your child and family. It also involves literal involvement: active participation in your child’s life.
How can you stay involved in your child’s life while over-the-road? How do you stay connected with your family? How do you manage being unable to attend every special occasion or event?
Prime driver and stepfather Beau McCarter has been driving for Prime for 12 years, and in his own words, he’s “in it for the long haul” when it comes to being an over-the-road dad. Through both his physical presence and communication, Beau is an involved father in his family’s life. Just because you’re an over-the-road dad doesn’t mean you can’t be an involved dad! Keep reading for Beau’s words of wisdom.
Participate in activities with your child, encourage extracurriculars
Beau’s favorite part about being a dad is “getting to be a kid again”! He bonds with his 12-year-old stepdaughter, Brooke, through a mutual love of the great outdoors. This means lots of hiking, camping and traveling. She’s also involved in choir and Girl Scouts. Beau says it’s been rewarding being able to watch her grow and be a part of her life while exploring her interests.
“Make sure that you’re supportive,” Beau said, “that you’re present, engaged, and actually listening to (your kids).”
Finding out what your child is passionate about helps you to be more involved as a father. Maybe you had a father growing up who wanted you to participate in something, but it wasn’t what you were interested in. For Beau, he says it’s better for them to pursue something they’re actually passionate about—rather than something only you are.
“If there’s no passion, you’re pushing something they don’t believe,” he said. “Find what they’re passionate about and walk beside them.”
Find learning opportunities and ways to give back while over-the-road
Beau has been a long-time Good Dads supporter and regularly participates in movements that help communities. He’s a Hikes Across America organizer and spearheaded an effort called United 13, an event that honors fallen veterans stationed in Afghanistan.
Through the endeavor, Beau and his family learned about American history and actively participated in community service. He has two ways he stays involved with his kiddo, even while thousands of miles away: send pictures of everything, and have some kind of connection to home. For Beau, this connection comes in the form of a stuffed bear, an official road pal named Beary.
“I would create the grand adventure; the bear was the mascot,” he said. “It opens their imagination, and has something tangible to connect with…to see the journey through the eyes of a child.”
Beau still honors Gold Star families–immediate family members of fallen U.S. service members–by remaining in contact with them and participating in national walks annually, five years and counting. Every step of the way, he gained inspiration from his wife, Andrea, and stepdaughter.
Through this involvement, Beau says Brooke is starting to branch out on her own through efforts in her Girl Scout troupe.
“No matter what you do, with time and effort, you can make anything you want to happen, happen,” he said. “We’re proud and exhausted parents!”
Show your kids what you do; get involved in your child’s learning journey
Recently, Beau got to bring his big rig to his stepdaughter’s career day at school. A Prime Inc. booth was set up, along with goodies like pens and lip balm for kids to take home.
“It was fun; the kids loved every second of it,” Beau said. “My wife was with me to help kids climb into the cab of the truck. Of course, everyone wanted to blow the horn. Kids were smiling; it lit up everybody’s day to live out a childhood dream.
“If any of your teachers tell you, you can’t make money staring out a window, this proves they’re wrong!” he joked with the kids. He also revealed a fun fact: He’s traveled 1.7 million safe miles through his career with Prime, which is further than the Artemis II traveled on its recent journey through space!
Special moments like this will stick with your child, not only as learning opportunities, but as bonding opportunities. You’ll learn more about each other in the process.
With the Good Dads Strong Schools program, students and their fathers bond through breakfast and activities. One of the activities allows dads and kiddos to get to know each other through a simple questionnaire. Knowing what your children want to be when they grow up, what their favorite food is and the name of their best friend may seem like small anecdotes, but they are very powerful bonding tools.
It’s okay if you don’t make it to every event
One of the toughest aspects of being an over-the-road dad is accepting that you won’t be able to make it to every special event. Beau’s family is a Prime family. His wife is a manager at the campus end training center and his father-in-law is a shuttle driver, so there’s an understanding of this reality. Beau and his wife have two rules: Don’t miss Christmas, and don’t miss birthdays. Other holidays can be moved around or celebrated when he’s home.
“When it comes to your kids, you’re talking to your partner about establishing a set of rules of what’s acceptable and what’s not,” Beau said. “Kids need routine.”
Beau recommends getting in touch with your fleet manager so there’s at least a month in advance before going home. However, he admitted there are certain unpredictable moments you might have to miss. For example, he was there when he taught his stepdaughter to ride a bike, but not when her friends helped her do away with the training wheels.
Beau says for moments like this, partners back home should utilize things like Facebook live, pictures and videos.
“It does help,” Beau said. “As long as they can guarantee you’re home at certain times, they won’t be as let down when you don’t make it to other things.”
Build love and trust with your family
Being an involved father involves persistence and routine. For Beau, this routine involves regular phone calls in the morning, after school and at bedtime.
“Communication is key,” he emphasized. “Make sure you’re available.”
Sometimes life can be unpredictable, and through crossing time zones and changing schedules, it can be tricky. Communicating with your partner back home about any schedule changes is crucial. If Beau happens to miss a phone call, he still records a voice message for his family to listen to later.
“I trust my wife,” Beau said. “I ask her everything and don’t do anything without checking first.”
Final Words
Beau continues to be an involved father and is even working on a kids’ book series, Bedtime Stories from Base Camp. It’s designed to help parents at home and out on the road connect with their kids. His No.1 rule for all over-the road dads? Family comes first, always.
“Make sure you’re doing safety checks and everything that revolves around making sure you’re staying safe out here so you can arrive alive back home,” he said.
