We’ve reached November, which means cooler weather and the holiday season. For many, November means Thanksgiving: food, family and football. Although many over-the-road fathers can’t be physically present with family during big holidays, many will find creative, albeit unconventional, ways spend time with family—even if it doesn’t fall on an actual holiday. It’s also important to remember that Thanksgiving isn’t the only day of the year we can show gratitude!

How do you express gratitude? Are there things in life you take for granted? How can it be helpful to remember the things for which we’re thankful?

Good Dads spoke with Charles Leffingwell, a Prime Driver of 10 years and father of four, to hear his techniques for finding appreciation every day. We hope you enjoy his insights, just in time for the holiday season!

Verbal appreciation: Say it out loud

Whether your wife makes you a cup of coffee or your kids give you a hug for no reason, Charles says verbal appreciation is something he tries to give as much as possible, even for little things that are often overlooked.

“It makes you feel better, but it also makes them feel better for noticing it,” he said.

Show your appreciation by saying it out loud. Recognition is the first step to showing appreciation and gratitude for others, and it makes both parties feel better. For more information on helping your children spread kindness, don’t miss this blog on raising kind, generous children by leading by example.

Don’t take things for granted: Cherish the little things

When Charles started at Prime 10 years ago, he had a baby girl. When he finally returned home two months later, Charles’ wife tried to hand their baby to him, and she recoiled.

“I was a stranger to her,” he said. “I went outside and cried like a baby.”

We tend to take things for granted, especially when we don’t stop and think about what truly motivates us or makes us happy. Many non-truckers often take over-the-road drivers for granted, for example. It may not occur to folks that someone must travel cross-country to deliver items that are crucial for our quality of life.

When you’re back home from over the road, take the time to notice the little things, like the sounds of your children’s laughter or the smell of your favorite meal cooking. Charles said to focus on the little things, even things you don’t feel are important, because after time has passed, you may look back and realize how important they really are. You’ll miss something you might never get back.

One way Charles is keeping up with what’s most important—his family—is through video and phone calls. His youngest is almost 2 years old, and he video calls her almost every day. Even though he can’t always be physically present with his toddler, Charles is finding new ways to bond with his baby while over-the-road. During this face-to-face communication, Charles loves asking his daughter questions like, “Where is your nose?” and “Where are your ears?”

“Say ‘I love you’ every day,” he said. “(Truck driving is) a dangerous job; it could be the last time you say it.”

Show gratitude through reciprocity

According to Charles, as long as it doesn’t turn into a competition, reciprocating is a great way to show gratitude. Going with the previous example of your partner making you a cup of coffee, you could compliment their appearance or even take them to lunch. If your kid gives you a hug, tell them you love them. Meet generosity with more generosity!

“As they’re turning into teenagers, sometimes (your) kids look at you weird for saying ‘I love you,’” he said, “but as a dad, it’s hard not to tell your kids you love them all the time.”

Through reciprocation and acknowledgement, Charles says, you’ll be leading by example. Dealing with the distance while over the road can be tricky, but it’s not impossible.

“Dads have a lot of responsibility on their plate,” he said. “Dads want to protect their kids from all the bad things in the world and teach them to be a good person. Showing appreciation lets kids appreciate the small things.”

Remember: the bad times are temporary

Sometimes, we go through periods of struggle. It can be hard to express gratitude when it feels like nothing is going our way. Charles recommends viewing situations like this as a “remember when” moment—something a housekeeper taught him when he was remodeling a house. It was a period of high stress for Charles and his wife. They were on their second child, barely managing bills and struggling.

Viewing hardship as “remember when” moment allows us to think about happier times in the future. Viewing the bad times as temporary allows Charles’ family to handle catastrophe in life.

“Someday, you’ll be sitting on the porch and say, ‘remember when,’” he said. “It’s not the end of the world, because it will be a ‘remember when.’”

Final Words

When it comes to things Charles is thankful for, he’s grateful to have his wife and kids and their support while he’s over the road. He says that fellow over-the-road dads should take the time to call their family, even if it’s just for a minute to say hi, see your face and tell them you love them to help stay connected.

“Telling (your family) you love them is a good form of gratitude,” he said. “It makes them feel like they’re not overlooked.”