Flint is trying to find a new way to bond with his two-year-old while traveling over the road, but truth be told, he doesn’t feel like he knows his son Mikey at all. It seems like his interests rapidly change to the point he can’t keep up.
Whenever Sam comes home to his two kids, Elliott (15) and Evie (13), he always buys them tons of toys and extravagant gifts. At first it brought smiles to their faces and kept them occupied. Now, it doesn’t feel like enough to keep them happy or connected.
Russell’s daughter, Sophia (5), has been begging him to play with her dolls ever since he came home from being over-the-road for six weeks. Not only is he exhausted with back pain to boot, but he also has a jam-packed schedule for the three days that he’ll be home. Not to mention he’s a grown man: He wouldn’t be caught dead holding a Barbie doll!
The power of a stuffed animal
In a recent Prime Good Dads story, we had the pleasure of speaking with John Skipper. Both he and his son, Ninja, are full of humor and creativity and utilize this to bond with one another. One of the methods for bonding that stuck out to me was the collection of stuffed animals Ninja has and the stories father and son have created among these small fuzzy creatures.
Even while apart, over-the-road fathers can use the power of a cuddly friend to bond with while over the road. Sure, having Dad sending a selfie is cool, but a picture of Dad holding a stuffed animal or other toy with him means a lot more.
Prime sells both tiger and bear stuffed animals, as do most truck stops. Certain places, such as Build-a-Bear Workshop, allow you to insert special voice messages when making the toy. These are perfect for long-distance visits. Ninja has a teddy bear he affectionately refers to as “Dad,” because there’s a picture of John on the front of the bear’s belly.
I’m the daughter of an over-the-road driver, myself. My father would find ways to bond with my siblings and me through creative playtime and storytelling with stuffed animals. This included “Run Snake,” which involved him chasing my sister and me around the house with a stuffed snake we got from the zoo.
For a father like Flint, it’s important to know that children with rapidly changing interests are perfectly normal. The good thing about something like a stuffed animal is how universal they are. Cute and cuddly! And it’s even better if Mikey has the chance to pick out the critter himself.
The importance of playtime
My father often served as an observer during our playtime and would notice patterns. He used to joke that I reminded him of a little movie director, telling my sister what the toys were going to do or say. Any suggestions my sister had I would shut down—likely using the logic that I was a year older.
For Sam, he thinks he can make up for his lack of physical presence with physical presents. It’s not a bad idea, but gifts can’t be the only way for a dad to show love. Extravagant toys and gadgets might mean something to kiddos in the short term, but if you’re aiming for long-term connection, this will likely end up falling short.
Children don’t need anything big or expensive to feel loved. Even while you’re on the road, keeping up with frequent communication is crucial—preferably if it’s face to face. Whenever you’re home, try out new activities without burning yourself out. Luckily, the internet is full of fun, simple activities that don’t involve Dad doing a full round of cardio. Building a pillow fort, paper airplanes or coloring books are all simple ways of bonding with your children. (Check out the #funwithdad page on the Good Dads website for a treasure-trove of ideas!)
Whether you’re actively engaging in playtime with your child or just an observer, these bonding opportunities when you’re home from being over-the-road are ones you and your family will cherish.
Bonding obstacles for over-the-road fathers
When I was little, I was privileged enough to not only have siblings I enjoyed playing with, but different kinds of toys to choose from. My sister and I had an array of Barbie, Bratz and Polly Pocket dolls, while my brother had toy wrestlers, dinosaurs and other action figures.
Even though you could consider these “boy” and “girl” toys, we were perfectly fine playing games and stories that involved both the “boy” and “girl” toys: Polly Pockets serving as “civilians” while toy dinosaurs attacked; wrestlers slamming through Barbie’s Dreamhouse (and being Barbie’s boyfriend, if memory serves. Sorry, Ken!). Truly, the playtime possibilities were endless.
My dad would occasionally engage in this kind of unstructured, imaginative play with us. I have one memory in particular where he used one of our Bratz dolls to share the importance of going to church. A little silly, yes, but a bonding opportunity nonetheless.
For someone like Russell, he’s prioritizing his own feelings and needs over those of his daughter, Sophia’s. Dads should by no means be ignoring their needs completely. However, it’s evident that Sophia enjoys the quality time she gets with her father, no matter how limited. In short: Dads can play Barbies, too!
Russell is also being held back by something else: close-mindedness. Growing up, my dad was a big guy with a prominent mustache. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t get down to our level and play with us. There was even an occasion or two where he received a full makeover from my sister.
Don’t be held back by outdated stereotypes: Be like Prime driver Jacob Parker, father to a six-year-girl who, in an interview for a previous blog, discussed his powerful love for her.
“My daughter changed my life,” he said. “I have a rage of love for that girl. I’ve never felt love like that. It’s the most powerful thing, and it’s made me a more powerful person.”
Final Words
No matter your parenting play style, these bonding opportunities while you’re home are integral for personal development and making memories. Have your child(ren) pick out a toy or two for you to take on your journey, cherish the moments you are home, and take advantage of unique playtime experiences.
