Brandon’s wife, Faith, just gave birth to their first child, a baby boy named Damien. Faith is home on maternity leave and is adjusting to life as a new mom. Luckily, they have a great support system of family and friends. While Brandon is thankful for this, he still feels guilty for not being physically present for his family while working over-the-road, not to mention all of the important milestones he feels he’ll be missing out on.

Marcus’s son, Jaden (15), has recently demonstrated rebellious behaviors by frequently skipping school and hanging out with the “wrong crowd.” Marcus wants to be a proper influence on his son, but being away for long periods of time makes communication and discipline more difficult.

Keith’s daughter, Lexi (7), is about to start second grade. Even though he couldn’t make it to the school’s open house, Lexi had no problem filling her father in during their daily video call. Although Lexi is excited about the upcoming school year, Keith can tell she’s nervous. Not to mention she’s still on a summer sleep schedule. Will she be ready in two weeks when school starts?

The benefit of bedtime routines

When I was a little girl, I shared a room with my sister. Almost every night, my mom would come in and sing us a series of the same 10 or so songs. This included Rock-a-Bye Baby, Hush Little Baby, and Jingle Bells (yes, even in July)! Whenever my dad was home from being over-the-road, he took the lullaby responsibilities. There was just one thing. He didn’t know all of the words: so he improvised. For my sister and me, these songs now had a “Dad Version,” one where he put his own spin on things.

This routine, while simple and a little silly, helped us bond before bedtime and made us feel happy before going to sleep. I have a nightly routine myself, where I give the day a “compliment sandwich” (one good thing, one bad thing and another good thing about the day), as well as accomplishments and things I’m proud of in myself. These small routines before bed can help boost self-confidence as well.

Prime driver Chad Mathews has four youngsters at home, including a newborn. In a previous post on the Prime Good Dads blog, he discussed the importance of communication with his partner, Tabby.

“She knows more than I do in that aspect,” he said. “There’s a lot of team effort. We turn to each other a lot for different reasons. She turns to me for peace, stability and calm. There’s so much on her plate…I’m her rock, her peace, her answer for that. If I don’t know what to do, I turn to her.”

For Brandon, the example dad I told you about in the beginning of this blog, it’s important to remember that these feelings of guilt are normal. But he shouldn’t let them consume him. Through a bedtime routine, he can help bridge the gap by bonding with his baby in unique ways. Nightly video calls, daily recaps or baby journal entries with Faith are important to staying connected while he’s away. This helps both parties feel more included and less alone in the care of their newborn.

Why regular check-ins are crucial

In episode 4 of Good Dads’ “Hot Topics” podcast series, guest Dr. Leonard B. Horton III discusses how he, his wife and his 15-year-old daughter manage screen time and family connections.

He said you have to have a relationship with your kids, without turning into a “helicopter parent.” He says a strategy his family implements is “Family Time,” time set aside once a week with no screens. There, the Hortons ask each other four questions …

• What is one question you have for us?
• What is one thing you are thankful for?
• What is one thing you’ve learned about yourself this week?
• What is one goal you have for this week?

For Dr. Horton, these questions and time spent with family sets the tone for the week and allows for connections. Even though Dr. Horton isn’t an over-the-road dad, I still love this thoughtful (and free!) example for making meaningful connections. Establish a connection in your household, even if it’s just once a week.

Despite what Marcus may think, it’s likely that Jaden still loves him and wants some kind of connection with his dad. When Jaden is spending time with the wrong people, he’s looking for that connection, just not in the right places. It might be helpful for Marcus to set aside time at least once a week for a phone call to go over grades, goals or anything else father and son might want to talk about. This allows the duo to open up more and improve accountability.

Marvelous morning routines

My father was and is a man of God. When he was present for mornings before school, the whole family would stand in a circle in the front foyer and “put on” the Armor of God. For those who don’t know, it’s a verse in the Bible about the spiritual protection believing in Jesus grants you. It includes…

• The Breastplate of Righteousness
• The Belt of Truth
• The Shoes of Peace
• The Helmet of Salvation
• The Sword of the Spirit
• The Shield of Faith

With each piece of armor, we’d pantomime putting it on in the mornings before school. Our family even added a few pieces that aren’t in the original verse, the “Pants of Praise” and “Gloves of Grace!”

Although I’m not religious anymore, I can’t deny how good those moments spent with my dad and other family members made me feel. It was the boost of confidence I needed to get my morning started off on the right foot. That’s what makes morning routines so marvelous!

Keith’s daughter, Lexi, likely needs some extra reassurance before the school year begins. He can start getting her into the groove of waking up and going to bed at an earlier time—and being supportive of Lexi’s mom in that process. If it works for his schedule, a morning call before school might be just what Lexi needs for a sense of routine and normalcy before the upcoming school year.

Final Words

Finding time for your family is crucial as an over-the-road father, but it doesn’t just happen without your hard work and consistent effort. Whether it’s a lullaby before bedtime, a call before school or a weekly check-in, Good Dads let their families know they’re there for them. I think that Prime driver Allen Land said it best:

“(Communication) is important, period,” he said in a recent interview. “If you don’t communicate, you get frustrated. You can’t assume anything. If you don’t communicate, nobody knows. Your burden would be less if you just communicate with people.”