This week on the Prime Good Dads blog, we’re continuing our focus on effective communication, both as a driver and as a father.
Communication skills are crucial, but why? What might happen if your needs aren’t effectively communicated? Are everyone’s communication needs the same?
For insights and wisdom on this important topic, we turned to Allen Land, a father and a Prime driver of nearly 10 years. Allen is experienced when it comes to communicating with both his family and the people he trains. He provided several strategies to Good Dads.
Leverage multiple forms of communication
Allen said that he checks in with his family regularly by texting them. He says he calls his wife at least once a day, and his mother and kids at least once a week. He emphasized setting aside time on special occasions and to keep up to date with his family’s different schedules.
Texting and phone calls are great forms of communication. Another way Allen communicates with his kids is through online gaming. His kids will play a certain game, and Allen downloads it and figures out how to play.
Allen is among many over-the-road fathers who utilize video games to connect with their kids. Video gaming is a great form of stress relief and play that also serves as a means to bridge the geographical gap between dads and their children. Allen says he and his children are currently partial to extraction shooter games.
Hearing is not the same as listening
In our previous blog post, we discussed the importance of listening skills with Prime driver Jimmy Jackson. Both Jimmy and Allen are trainers for new Prime drivers, so they know a thing or two about the importance of listening.
Allen said he can tell when some of the people he trains hear what he’s saying, but they aren’t actually listening. Hearing is more in relation to the physical sense, he says, the actual ability to pick up sound, whereas listening involves actively paying attention to what is being said and understanding what you hear. In other words, hearing is passive, and truly listening requires much more active focus.
One strategy that Allen suggested to improve listening and comprehension skills is to have someone regurgitate what you said to see if they missed a step. He said it’s all about “listening and relaying.”
Understand that everyone communicates differently and has different needs
Allen said one of the biggest lessons he’s learned while working as a trainer at Prime is that you can’t communicate to everyone in the exact the same way.
“You have to get understanding,” he emphasized. “Ask if you need me to break it down in a different way.”
He said that sometimes this can mean simplifying certain concepts without making the other person feel inferior or behind, ensuring along the way that they have an understanding. In addition, make sure that you are checking in with the person periodically. This can ensure you’re on the right page.
“You can’t assume people think the way you do,” he said. “Everyone has different experiences, and they all learn differently.”
Let people know how you feel
As a trainer, Allen admitted he tends to err on the side of over-communication, conveying tasks in simple terms and being concise with what he wants done. The downside of this, he admitted, is that it “sounds like I’m talking to you like you’re in kindergarten.”
It depends on the level of education and experience a person has, but Allen said he’d rather over-explain something than leave the person in the dark. He said the best thing to do is if you already know how to do something, just let him know.
“If you feel offended, tell me,” he said. “Tell me if something is bugging or frustrating you. It doesn’t matter how small.”
A lack of communication can have consequences
With nearly a decade of experience under his belt, Allen is all too familiar with the consequences of poor communication, from frustrations to missing out on loads to accidents. These negative consequences could be easily avoided if more communication had occurred. In addition, the longer you keep off communicating about an issue, the more likely the problem will become worse.
“(Communication) is important, period,” he said. “If you don’t communicate, you get frustrated. You can’t assume anything. If you don’t communicate, nobody knows. Your burden would be less if you just communicate with people.”
Lead by example
Allen says he believes owning up to your mistakes is an important part of communicating well with others—whether that be with your children, your boss or your partner.
“Accept that sometimes you’re the problem with communication,” he said.
However, it’s important to remember that communication is a two-way street. It’s crucial that both parties participate and learn from each other.
“Lead by example,” he said, “That’s the best way. If I don’t hear from you, if you don’t say anything or share, nothing happens. You can’t break the cycle if you stay in the cycle.”
Final Words
In Allen’s view, when it comes to communication, it’s something you just have to do, and it comes with practice. Face-to-face conversations show that you care about the other person’s feelings.
“The biggest problem with society is a lot of people aren’t talking face-to-face,” he said. “You shouldn’t act like you’re never going to see that person (again).”
While Allen’s kids are all grown, he emphasized the importance of continuing to talk and catch up with them.
“I’m not here to judge you,” he said of keeping up with his adult children. “I’m here to support you. I’m not here to berate you. Open and honest dialogue is important.”
Author
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Dora joined the Good Dads team in 2024 and has a Bachelor's degree in journalism with a minor in creative writing at Missouri State University. She grew up with a truck driving father and loves reading, writing and anything related to theater.
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