August is already here, which means back-to-school season is just around the corner. One thing that’s on most of our minds is “already?!” Fret not. Whether you’ve been diligently preparing your youngsters for the back-to-school season or you’ve been so busy you’ve lost track of what month it is, Good Dads has got you and your fellow over-the-road dads covered!

Third grade teacher Derek McCarty is no stranger to the back-to-school season. Neither is father of three James Burrow, who’s been driving for Prime for almost 20 years. Both provided some tips for Good Dads on how to make the upcoming school year the best one yet!

Keep up with your child’s hobbies, passions and interests

Having been a teacher for four years, Derek has kiddos in the classroom who aren’t afraid to share what currently interests them. 

“Something I have noticed is that kids might really be into drawing or super interested in medieval history,” he said. “The way they talk to me about it makes me think they don’t really have someone to express that interest to at home. Sometimes I’ll have kids tell me that they’re into drawing or doing art and their parents tell them it’s a waste of time and they won’t have a job drawing all day.” 

James’ kids were all involved in some kind of activity: his oldest played football, his middle child was in band and his youngest played soccer and football. James did his best to attend as many games as he could as an over-the-road father and was involved in the purchasing of their uniforms. 

He said it was difficult to find cleats. “Baseball, football, and soccer cleats are all different.”

“We still managed, took a little bit more effort.”

Whether it’s sports, drawing, history, or something else, find out what interests your child. As an over-the-road father, expressing interest in your child’s passions is a great way to keep the communication strong and help them feel more prepared to go back-to-school. 

Be involved, either directly or indirectly, with back-to-school shopping

When you’re at home from being over-the-road, try and be involved in the back-to-school shopping process. James mentioned that he and his ex-wife worked together to ensure they had everything they needed for the first day of school. 

“Our local school’s websites would post what they needed, we would go get the stuff,” James said. “(The kids) might not even be with us, but they could pick out their backpacks and shoes.”

“My ex would take care of their main school uniforms and would let me know whether or not they needed cleats or practice uniforms,” he continued.

“Practice stuff was a bit harder to find. While I had them, we would go to different stores to find what they needed. If it landed on my time, I would try and be there to get it. I did the best that I could.”

Regardless of your current situation as an over-the-road father, finding time to either directly or indirectly be involved with the back-to-school shopping process is a good way to help kids feel better about going back-to-school. Little things, like asking them to show off their new backpack and shoes, can help increase both your child’s confidence and the communication. 

Read to your child

It’s important to remember that even the smallest gestures can make a big difference in a child’s life. Derek said that one of the best ways to prepare your child for the upcoming school year is to read to them, or have them read to you. 

“People underestimate how actively reading in general will actually help boost their abilities,” he said. “(Children) are exposed to different vocabularies, especially with nonfiction books.”

One of the benefits of modern technology is being able to talk face-to-face, even from long distances. Even just ten minutes of reading a day can make all the difference. 

For more information about the benefits of reading, click here!

Talk with your child

Here on the Prime Good Dads blog, we’ve discussed the importance of continued communication with your family while you’re over the road. Before school starts is one of the most important times to talk to your child, as so much is going through their head during this time. 

James says that just talking and listening to your kids will help immensely. “Reassure them it’ll be okay, that they’ll see old friends and make new friends,” he said. “Then everything goes back to normal. That first week, they get back into a routine, they make new friends and meet old friends”

James also suggested talking to them before tests, but also talk to them about things outside of school. He would contact his kids after each game and ask them how it went. However, he suggested not to “overbear them with stories of what you did in the past.”

“It’s the same, but different,” he said.

Ensure your child has a growth, not a fixed, mindset

According to Derek, a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset is kind of like optimism vs pessimism, and it goes for “any obstacle or challenge that people run into, not just kids.” 

“A growth mindset is feeling like you can become better from whatever you’re doing, whereas a fixed mindset is ‘I’m staying the same’ as you go through life,” he said.

“The most important thing, a lot of kids don’t have or haven’t developed, is perseverance,” he continued, “It also means being supportive if they aren’t good at something rather than getting frustrated.”

Derek continued by saying that a student might do poorly on a test, or they might not understand an assignment. With a fixed mindset, they’ll assume it’s too hard or they won’t put forth the effort to do better next time. With a growth mindset, students understand that it’s not the end of the world, they aren’t unintelligent for not passing and they recognize that by putting forth the effort, they’ll be able to perform better next time. 

“Emphasize to kids that their grades and work is ultimately their responsibility,” he said. “If they don’t turn their assignment in or if their grade drops, it’s not because the teacher didn’t mention it. It’s the kid’s responsibility to ask the teacher for help or ask the parent for help, do whatever they need to to keep track of that stuff.”

Ultimately, as an over-the-road father, you won’t be there all the time to ensure your child will turn in every single assignment. But what you can do is communicate with them and ensure them that their effort is what matters most. 

Find a routine and stick with it

Derek said that routines, especially for younger kids, are “immensely important.” Keeping a routine for yourself will help your kids feel more structured. 

“That’s something I, as a teacher, have learned myself,” he said. “My first year of teaching, there was very little in the way of routine and structure in the classroom. That exacerbated some of the issues the kids had. Whereas now, I’ve seen the value of organization and schedules, because at the age they are, they don’t have the self regulation skills yet to keep track of all those things. If I don’t keep a planner, take notes to myself, or set alarms, eventually I’m going to forget stuff.”

Routine looks different for everyone, but for James, his routine involved getting his kids on a regular sleep schedule, limiting video games and technology, and ensuring they have a good meal.

“We always had every meal at the table without any technology. This allowed for conversation. The kids ended up being very talkative about their life and asked about mine.”

“Let them have their summer and let them do what they want to do within reason, but keep structure,” he said. 

Reach out to your child’s teacher

Derek said that the smallest gestures make a world of difference to teachers, and that includes with over-the-road fathers. 

“I would just say that whatever you’re able to do as an over-the-road parent: Don’t ever underestimate the impact that it has on the kid and also on the relationship with the teacher,” he said. “I can tell you from a teacher’s perspective, when a parent reaches out to me and asks questions and takes an interest to whatever extent, it’s really meaningful and inspires me to be involved in that collaboration.”

“Don’t feel like just because you can’t help them with their homework or keep track of their grades to the letter, it’s not worth doing. Even small interactions, a kid is going to remember forever.” 

Final Words

Even though James’ kids are fully grown, he’s been there for the back-to-school process for several years and has enjoyed watching them grow up and become their own person. Now that they’re adults, the relationship is different, but in some ways, according to James, there’s a benefit to that. 

“You have to remember to do fun stuff with them,” James said. “It doesn’t have to cost a lot either. You get to have those more adult conversations and comradery with them. You don’t have to overbear them. You’re still a parent, but you become a friend at the same time.”