“Did You Lose Your Pants?”

Stephanie GrandestaffMile Markers

Making a Case for Morning Routines

For those of you fathers out there who drive the kids to school each day, here is an old blog post of mine that you may relate to as we’re getting back into the swing of things with the start of school right around the corner…

For about the past month, whenever that alarm screams at me to rise, I’ve been a complete zombie. I literally get out of bed, slip on some sandals, yell “load up” and take the kids to school. This is a complete gamble on my part, because the kids are usually not ready at all. I’ve had to turn around several times to retrieve items like backpacks, socks, Chromebooks and lunch. Since about May 23rd, I’ve been shuttling the kids to school in the same outfit I roll out of bed in, which is my boxer shorts and a t-shirt. One morning last week, the boys were upset because they didn’t have time to eat breakfast. I thought I would be the good Dad, and swing by the convenience store to grab them donuts on the way to school. 

I dropped my daughter off at school first, then pulled into the Casey’s General Store parking lot. My youngest asked, “Dad what are you doing?” I explained that I was gonna grab breakfast for them. I pulled into a spot up front, opened my car door and slowly got out. I could hear some giggling from the boys in the back seat. I figured they were playing one of the silly games they seem to wanna play way too early in the morning. I shut the door and walked into the store. I looked towards the case filled with sugary treats, and suddenly realized……oh no…..I had forgotten my glasses at home. I had gotten out of bed and failed to put them on. What an idiot!!! I’m standing there squinting, trying to figure out which delicious delights I would treat my children to, when I heard a strange voice behind me. “Did you lose your pants?” a man asked. I looked behind me to see who he was talking to and what moron was walking around without pants. As I turned towards the strange voice, I happened to look down. Oh no…..holy sh!@t!!! I was the imbecile the voice was talking to. I had completely forgotten I strolled out of the house in my undies. I’ve gotta believe, if my daughter were still in the car, she would not have let me exit the vehicle. My boys on the other hand, they could care less. They just thought it was Dad’s newest attempt at humor.

There I am in my old, red, Adidas t-shirt, and my bright blue, striped, boxer shorts. I have a few pair that have the button on the front to keep the barn door shut. This particular pair of “Fruit of the Loom’s” did not have the button. I was one awkward movement from letting the turtle poke its head out of its shell. For all I know, it had already gotten a peek. I did not say a word to the man, or anyone else, I just turned and walked out as quickly as I could. I got back into the car where my youngest was quick to point out that he wasn’t the only forgetful one.

A week or so earlier, I was rushing to get the boys to their games. My 6-year-old had gotten dressed, got into the car, and rode all the way to the fields before realizing he had no shoes on. Obviously, I was frustrated that I had to go back home to get his shoes. He had remembered this, and was letting me know about it.

Needless to say, I’ve made sure to get myself properly dressed in the morning since.

Herb Cody is a husband and father of three. He is a part time Uber driver and full time caregiver of his spouse, who suffered a traumatic brain injury after an auto accident November, 2015. Herb loves football and is a St. Louis Cardinals fanatic. He and his family live in Nixa, MO. Herb can be reached for questions or comments at herbie05@yahoo.com, and you can check out Herb’s own blog at www.thecodylife.weebly.com